MomCave LIVE

Why Mommy Drinks | Betsy Stover | MomCave LIVE

• Jennifer Weedon MomCave, and Betsy Stover

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Hey there, fellow adventurers of parenting chaos! Today, we're diving headfirst into the hilarious world of MomCave LIVE, where Betsy Stover and Jen spill the beans on the wild ride that is motherhood. Buckle up for laughter, relatable tales, and a journey through the ups and downs of raising kids, all served with a generous dose of humor. From awkward improv class reunions to the challenges of raising teenagers, these moms are here to share the chaos behind 'Why Mommy Drinks.' Stick around for a rollercoaster of stories that'll leave you nodding, laughing, and possibly questioning if your own parenting journey needs a comedy soundtrack. Welcome to the MomCave – where lost minds meet unbeatable humor!


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Betsy Stover: Hi! 

Jen:  Welcome to MomCave LIVE where we may have lost our minds, but we haven't lost our sense of humor. And I have a guest today that's going to blow your mind because she's hilarious. And we have so much to talk about. And I'm gonna put her on Tada! 

Betsy Stover:  Hello, everyone. Hello, Jen. Thanks for having me on.

Jen:I'm psyched to have you on if you guys don't know, Betsy. She's a funny lady. She's on all kinds of TV and cool things. And she's a UCB improv teacher person. And she is on Why Mommy Drinks is her very funny podcast that's on hiatus. And you know, she's got a bunch of kids. So we have so much to talk about. Just a whole bunch, just a whole bunch. Um, but I think the very first thing to talk about is the fact that I, this is the first time that we've spoken to each other in, like, 13 or more years, right? 

Betsy Stover: I think so. It's been a very long time since I've been able to speak with you face to face.

Jen: I know. I know. So I think that the story, I don't know what your side of the story will be. But I'll tell my side of the story because I think it was pretty funny. So um, Betsy is a teacher of improv at UCB

Read More Here: https://www.momcavetv.com/why-mommy-drinks-momcave-live/


Betsy Stover:

Hi,

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Welcome to MomCave Live where we may have lost our minds, but we haven't lost our sense of humor. And I have a guest today that's going to blow your mind because she's hilarious. And we have so much to talk about. And I'm gonna put her on Tada!

Betsy Stover:

Hello, everyone. Hello, Jen. Thanks for having me on.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I'm psyched to have you on if you guys don't know, Betsy. She's a funny lady. She's on all kinds of TV and cool things. And she's a UCB improv teacher person. And she is on Why Mommy Drinks is her very funny podcast that's on hiatus. And you know, she's got a bunch of kids. So we have so much to talk about. Just a whole bunch, just a whole bunch. Um, but I think the very first thing to talk about is the fact that I, this is the first time that we've spoken to each other in, like, 13 or more years, right?

Betsy Stover:

I think so. It's been a very long time since I've been able to speak with you face to face.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I know. I know. So I think that the story, I don't know what your side of the story will be. But I'll tell my side of the story because I think it was pretty funny. So um, Betsy is a teacher of improv at UCB. I am. So we're in New York. I'm an actor. I took improv, because it was the one kind of acting that I was terrified of. I was like, I don't know, make myself do this. And so, yeah, that's what improv is, right? So I spoke, but anyone who's not familiar with the whole improv scene, it's dominated by boys. I'm gonna say boys, young men, like in their 20s and 30s. Like, and they're really cool. They they like know, all the, you know, they know all the what's trending and all the things that we don't know anymore. Right. Right. So I was pretty pregnant at the time, and I walk in the room, and I see my instructor. And it's Betsy, and she's just as pregnant as me!

Betsy Stover:

I forgot about that. I remember you being pregnant, but I forgot the detail that I was also pregnant.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yes. And I was like, Oh my God, these poor guys. They're gonna be what it is. It made me feel better. Like, at least I'm not the only old, female pregnant person in the room. Not that you're old. But we were older than them. For sure.

Betsy Stover:

But yeah, They were all like 23. And we were adult women who were having babies.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah. Yeah. So that was that was good. So you've made that easier. And one other quick story, I remember that it was really, really hot one day, when we had class like, over 100 degrees hot. And Betsy sent out a message like telling people they didn't have to come to class. It was so hot. I don't even know if there's air conditioning. And I frickin came to class. And I was like, if the pregnant woman can come, and the other pregnant woman can teach you 20 year olds are like, snowflaking out here.

Betsy Stover:

Yeah, so we both we both showed up on the hot day

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

right. We did. We did.

Betsy Stover:

How's it going over there in the land of teenager because

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

it's it's rough. It's rough. It's rough. So both of our

Betsy Stover:

So is it better in a lot of ways, right?

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah, I mean, they're, they're people that you can talk to and enjoy certain things with and watch movies that would have been approved inappropriate or probably still are. But then again, they're also people and they have opinions.

Betsy Stover:

Yes, yes, they do. They have a lot of sassy strong opinions.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Mhhm I know, Do you like how do you deal with it? What's your Are you are you improv Mom? Are you funny? Are you like, blowing it all off and being funny? Are you strict mom?

Betsy Stover:

I'm a little bit of column A and B. I was raised without a lot of boundaries. And so and so wasn't strict in a lot of ways and everything was kind of loosey goosey. And so my like response to that is like I've got to have boundaries and rules and I've got to make sure that my children can count on what's what. But then I'm also married to another improviser and he's he was raised by a perfectly lovely people with boundaries good boundary is much more like loosey goosey about everything. So I do tend to be the bad cop and he tends to be the good cop, but I also think that tends to be the case in a lot of heterosexual parent child relationships.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah, I think mom does tend to be the bad cop a lot of the time

Betsy Stover:

More often than not.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Right? Because, well, my thought is like, I'm the one that has to get a lot of shit done around here. And if no one's behaving,

Betsy Stover:

Yeah

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

look good. For all like mom is like the CEO of the family a lot of the time.

Betsy Stover:

Mm hmm. Yeah. Well, and also, it's like, Are we allowed to swear on here?

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Oh, swear away!

Betsy Stover:

Okay.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah.

Betsy Stover:

I think moms know, like, if we fuck up, no one is gonna be I mean, some people may be but most people are gonna be like, What did their mother do? Right? But what about the mother and her failing? And so I'm like, I'm also like, oh, gosh, like, especially when they're 13. It's like, oh, my gosh, we're running out of time. I got five more years to train, being a person and then you're gonna be out there doing all kinds of wild stuff. And if it's bad, they're gonna blame me and

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Totally. Yeah.

Betsy Stover:

I've gotta do things.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah, I keep like when he when he is being not good. I think to myself, like he wouldn't be doing this. If I had. If I had done better up to this point. I obviously did not train the child well enough.

Betsy Stover:

Yes. If I had been perfect, you would be perfect.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Right? Not gonna happen. We're not

Betsy Stover:

What a lie that we tell ourselves.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

No, no. So you moved out to the sunny California years ago?

Betsy Stover:

Yes. Yes. We were in Brooklyn there for about three years of of kids. And then. And then we came out to California to mostly just panning for gold. And, you know, stake our claim on on territory. None of that's true. But we did come out here to you know, pursue our entertainment dreams.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Metaphorically, you are panning for gold.

Betsy Stover:

We're Yeah, metaphorically. We're panning for gold. And and hoping to stake our claim in that maybe one day we'll own a home. But yeah, the nice thing was that my husband was working for a company that at the time was was just coming out here. And then of course, the Upright Citizens Brigade theater where we both work also is out here. And a lot of our friends had already moved out here. And you know, that having kids in New York City is really hard. It's not. It's not a city that even tolerates kids so much

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

No

Betsy Stover:

Like

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

They're a bother really

Betsy Stover:

What yeah, they're a real bother. Yeah, it's an adult. It's a city for adults. Yeah. So coming out to California, it was like, you know, you can drive places, you don't have to carry all your groceries home. You don't have to worry about your child running into the subway mouth or the, you know, on the on the tracks

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Running out into the street. Yeah, but I didn't know I've never lived in LA, I've been there it is more child friendly.

Betsy Stover:

It is more child friendly. It definitely is. Yeah, cuz you can, if any, at the very least you can drive places and like, people don't have to encounter your children, if anything,

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Right they're in an enclosed vehicle.

Betsy Stover:

Like at the very least, if you need to change your baby, and there isn't a changing station, you change them in your car.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I know. I pulled over on the side of the road one day to change my kid and I pulled in front of someone's house, not on the property, not in the driveway. The man came out yelling at me. And I've never forgotten that man.

Betsy Stover:

Isn't that funny how we remember

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah, just random things.

Betsy Stover:

My husband and I went to the Westminster Dog Show one year. And it was like it was on Valentine's Day. And when you come early, you can kind of be there all day watching all kinds of dog events. And you can kind of sit wherever. But then there are some seats where if the ticket holder shows up, then they they can just say hey, these are our seats and you you go find a different seat. And I'll never forget this older man was so mean to us for sitting in his seats. It's like 15 years later, and I'm still like that fucking

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

That man. You'll remember him forever.

Betsy Stover:

I will

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I know. There's something about that we someone's watching us from New Zealand. Hi, Tina from New Zealand.

Betsy Stover:

Oh, kiwi friend. Wow.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Okay, cool. Um, I had I was also thinking about the fact that since both of our oldest children are about the same age, both of our youngest children are about the same age but I only have two and you have three. Yes. So what like, how did you get you can see how did you feel? So, how did you know you were ready to have another because that's why my kids are so far apart because I can't even think about having another kid till they're like, really old. Because I can't deal with a lot of little kids.

Betsy Stover:

Well, I so I have a lot of siblings. My so my parents had me. And then when they divorced, my dad remarried and had three children with my stepmom. And my mom adopted three more children. So I'm used to be one four, in any given situation, and I am one of seven. So like, um, so I knew that I wanted to have a, you know, a few kids, I was pretty sure I wanted to have at least three because that felt like that felt like normal to me. And, and two of my brothers are 18 months apart, and they have always had a beautiful relationship, just like best friends, just peas and carrots, those two and, and they really complement each other well, in so many ways. And I was like, wow, as someone who was at least, you know, at least eight years older than my next sibling, I really wanted my kids to have what, what I didn't have, which, you know, in addition to just having the same parents and living in the same house was just like having Yeah, like being able to play with each other. And because I was always like a little adult, you know, and I didn't have anyone to play with. So I wanted that for them. And so I ended up having my first two 20 months apart, which, in a lot of ways was really great. Because they are the bestest of frenemies. Yeah. But I think, especially when they're older, I think that's going to be really valuable. Yeah, I think. But it was like hell on earth. There. I mean, it was really hard.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah

Betsy Stover:

Really hard.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I mean, I find it very hard with one so yeah, two that little. Oh, no. Don't let the chaos bother them. And I'm trying to be that person, but I'm never going to be that person. Hmmm. No. So no,

Betsy Stover:

I'm a Virgo. I'm a firstborn. Yeah, I'm a perfectionist. Um, yeah, I mean, it's so much a parenting is though, like, letting go of control and like capitulating to that chaos. improviser. I'm, I am, like, in a lot of ways, I am very comfortable in chaos. And sort of like trying to find my like, little corner of control in the chaos. But, you know, a scene is one thing, your life is a whole other thing. I used to feel a lot more in control until, until the pandemic and lockdown started. And then I was like, everything's terrible.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah. I was like Do whatever you need to do to not drive me crazy

Betsy Stover:

I'll just drink vodka all day, and you can be on screens. 24/7

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

That's what happens. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody, though, you know, and I think we lost some ground that we won't get back. Because of that.

Betsy Stover:

100 100%. So it's yes. Freeing restrictions. Like, it is 2023 and we are we are still nowhere near where we were before the pandemic.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Oh, US neither. And my kids go to a Waldorf school that technically has a no media policy. And I'm saying this on the internet's so please, people from that school don't kick us out. But yeah, they're not supposed to have media up until a certain grade and then after that, only on the weekends, and I don't fully violate it because I have I have some rules. But my kids have media, you're shocked

Betsy Stover:

I'm sorry, go back this school that you pay money to send your children to, told you, a lot of money, told you you're not allowed to show your kids media until a certain age and even then only on the weekends.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

They do you say that. Um, I get the concept and an all in theory sounds lovely. And everyone could do it. It would be great. And our kids would grow up and be like Little House on the Prairie. It doesn't like work that way in in real world all the time. You know, I work from home.

Betsy Stover:

No

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

No. Yeah, but no. You sound like my son because of course he hates that policy.

Betsy Stover:

Yeah,

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I was like, wait, what? We pay, we pay the school. They can't tell us what we can do when we're at home. You're paying them. I'm like, Dude, you don't know how big of a scholarship you're on, like

Betsy Stover:

Your kids going up to cops, I pay your salary. You can't arrest Me.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

They can't give us a ticket. We pay for them. Exactly. That is 13 year old reasoning if I ever heard it.

Betsy Stover:

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, screen screens are a whole. Yeah, it's a it's a sensitive subject in the house.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

It is. We're like twitching when we think about it. Um, well, this this next thing I'm gonna ask you could be a much larger, more serious conversation, but I don't want to have a serious conversation about you. But you know, I loved when your podcast first came out and the name of your podcast is Why Mommy Drinks. I thought that was a great title. I love it. Now of course, I do drink. And this was a little before the whole like it really the sober mom movement really kicked in when you start it. But now I feel like there's a backlash against mom's drinking at all, almost or just talking about online. Like as if it's a glamorization or promoting? I don't know, I'm wondering, did you have a backlash? How do you deal with that? What are your thoughts?

Betsy Stover:

Great question. Um, yeah, when we started why mommy drinks felt right for a few reasons. One it was it was a taking advantage of wine mom culture, which was just we were right in the middle of it. And, and it truly

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

And they are why we drink.

Betsy Stover:

That's why I was drinking quite a bit. And but yeah, as time went on, and moms Mom, mom culture had like a big backlash, you know, and that's fair, like from moms themselves for the most part, but also from outside of that. Yeah, people were like you I don't like that. Yeah, like the title was definitely a turnoff for some people. And if we were to rename it, we probably rename it something else. But

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Mommy smokes weed now.

Betsy Stover:

No Way mommy's done that!

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Right, that's a whole other story.

Betsy Stover:

But I don't know, I felt like the title was was to the point. It was just like, oh, look, I'm broken. I need a drink. And this is why and in every episode, we're going to tell you why we're kind of broken this week. And yeah, but also like, Yeah, fucking, a lot of moms do drink and, and right or wrong. A lot of them use that to cope. And hey, man, get off our chocks was just trying to do their fucking best.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Right, right. I mean, we're sensitive to people who are struggling over, but we're Yeah, we're not saying everyone should. No, we're just saying, we need a drink.

Betsy Stover:

Yeah, it's not called Why Why mommy ought to drink all the time. And if you don't, you're out of the club. Yeah.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

Yeah. Okay. I just I felt like that was something we have to talk about. It's Thank you.

Betsy Stover:

I think that was a great question.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

You're very welcome. Well, Betsy, I could talk to you all night, but I'm sure nobody wants to watch us hang out all night. But this was super fun. And you guys should check out Betsy on all the places she's Betsy dash Stover on Instagram I believe

Betsy Stover:

Betsy dot Stover

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

dot Betsy dots Stover.

Betsy Stover:

And Betsy dash Stover on Venmo, though, if you just want to send me money

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

to send her some money. Yeah, Venmo her. That's great. Um, thank you for talking with me. This has been super fun.

Betsy Stover:

It's such a thrill to get to see you. I could talk to you all night.

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo:

I know, same. Well, we'll have to think of something fun to do together. So um, yeah. Okay, everybody, go check her out.

Betsy Stover:

All right. Goodnight, everyone. Thank you.